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tumble to cyberia  
02:39am 24/08/2006
 
 
dream_shaper
I'm not entirely sure what is up. Havn't slept much, havn't been tired. And yet i take a breath and exaustion rolls in. i sit i look the world seems such a horrible place sometimes. Those people, the self rightous looks, the morronic dare with cars. Car+person= BIG FUCKIN OUCH. Sometimes i can see te good things to come, the dreams realized, the hearts secure and safe inside that warm glow of content eyes. Other times i see noting but the same crap we live with day to day, we try, these pieces we try to hold together, we know this should be, we try and try to make it that fuckin way. stumble, tumble, trip fall in and out of this thing we call life, turn around face it down, watch it all start again. Watch those worlds you created, the stability you were fated, become nothing more than another illusion of safty without the net. escape this reality and enter the space whhere nothing is, just the tought that yo've fought for so long. slip slide rip and hide back into the world that wants nothing more than your worth in body mind and soul. value no longer applies to the person but to the thing. a tear in the dark means nothing if no one sees it, so what is it when it is directly in front of you? Smile and play nice otherwise back back back down into that hole that is so hard to climb out of. Smile and nod, agree and take it as they lie strait to your face and slide it right under that rib, pierce twist and smile "have a nice day". at what point do we stop... look them strait in the eye and stab right fuckin back. limp, lie, win, no tie is te best ting we can hope for as we crawl to the next to revive the failing safty. to repair the broken ideas, hopes. snuggle up close so they can get it in deep. grin and bear it until the price is to steep. what are you worth anyway? not to much i hope, in thier eyes dirt because they pay the Bill. But learn to talk sweet and lie to thier faces and quickly get out of these stupid rat races. work hard and honest, and you can pull out the shiv as they send you away and don't care how you live. . . .

...Take a breath...
mood: tired, very tiredtired, very tired
music: Croncrete Blonde - Tomarrow, Wendy
 
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10sion  
01:47am 18/08/2006
 
 
dream_shaper
can't seem to focus on anything, teeth grating tension won't easy up for some reason. everything seems so simple and yet so GOD DAMN hard right now i can think of it i can look at it i can know how to do it but the act just won't work i try and it just... slips away, frustration, annoance, regardless seems like i sit here wanting to talk or chat to someone exactly when absolutly no one is around, awake, etc. wish there was still a pearl, denny's, pennylane where i could go run into someone when these urges hit but still don't even know that i would talk with them but worth the try right. but alas there is no such place anymore.

Noticed the other day i look the same in every picture i know is being taken of me i have the same look and the same reaction. maybe i'm wrong. WHY can i sit here typeing this but can't fuckin do the things i should be. horrid headaches, random body aches that occasionally bring me to curling up in a ball, whats new, been worse lately though. i'm going to go smoke now and try to do something.
mood: confusedconfused
music: ironically erasure - Victim of love
 
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...yes... i'm alive  
01:34am 08/07/2006
 
 
dream_shaper
barely at times. I have been here and there and fuckin everywhere. my life is one big fucked up stress for time. even when i have "nothing" to do i've got a fuckin LIST of shit to do. So generally my days are just fuckin stressful. I live days to fuckin day from one stress to the next. money constant stress, work another. for any that don't know i've been laying tile for this guy, pretty alright gig but not enough. everytime i turn around i've got no money and bills pileing back up. I've got my own car now... yeah gets 40 to the gal. so at least it costs less.

I've got the tile mon-fri when i've got it. the church cleaning on sat. websites left and right whenever i can. a box i'm modding. more and more DVDs to rip. so many other things that i won't even get into. and i'm just always distressed and feeling like i'm loosing my mind. i did this a few times before and everytime i end up just snapping at a point. I'm actually not supposed to be writeing here anymore "you have plenty to tell everyone else but never talk to me" granted thats changed a lot but still no use bringing it back up so don't expect any speedy responce or such. maybe all of this is just me bitching at the moment. maybe i just needed to tell someone and don't think anyone really wants to hear it.

Most days i feel like a friend of conveniance. Only come to mind when i suit those needs or show up in the same area. i'm not saying i want phone calls everyday since frankly i probably wouldn't answer, but would always check the message to see what they need/want/say. ... yeah anyway can't focus, to much to do. can't relax, to much to think about. can't stop, to much stress. can't seem to calm the fuck down. want all these things. want everything to work the fuck out. want my family to get there shit together. want to feel like more than a domesticated husband constantly trying to make things work and takeing the stress of everything. do do do more more more oh and this and this and this and if your not busy .... attempt sleep... repeat. wish for things that won't happen. I love my lil dude but the stress of the scream is just a bit much at times. i love my girl but at times i wish she would relax just a hair and look at things from a step back . .. maybe i'll post some more at some point soon. no promises.

Alive and moving...ish
CaT
mood: exhaustedexhausted
 
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what a week  
08:00pm 13/09/2005
 
 
dream_shaper
alright so i know i haven't been around pretty much at all lately except game of course. so heres what ha been going on in CaT land. i have a job.. not the best paying but steady so thats better than nothing with with a flooring place that is FUCKIN HUGE talking hundreds of guys grabbing the supplies in the morning. so basically i wake up before the sun drag my ass out of bed find the coffee and the morning stuffs then smoke get in the car and leave round 5:45 am to be out there (where ever there is that day) by around 6. blah blah lay tile blah blah manual labor, blah blah oh it's 3ish time to go home. then i come home lucky if i do something before i pass out eat watch something and pass out again wake up go to bed. yeah ... thats pretty much it. on sat. i clean a church. so i guess techinically i have two jobs. but wait there is more. as of this sun. another job will be starting and rolling on top of the current one for about a week. so on top of the stuff up there then after one i will drag my happy ass downtown and be laying tile there for around 4-5 hours then going to my comped room and passing the fuck out to do it all again the next day. For anyone out there that might be thinking "you're nuts" well yes but i thought you knew that already. the simple fact is i have a lot of catching up to do bills wise and my 6-3 job just isn't going to cut it fast enough. which leads me to the next thing last week mon. broadband got cut off, so then i was on dialup (actually had to find a modom and install it but hey it works) then a few days later the AOL account i've had for ... way to long got finally shut down. EricTcrow is officially DEAD (for now) so for all of you out there that may want to leave me some email now and then or ATTEMPT (i stress this because i'm not on NEARLY as much until i get broadband payed up, and besides working now) to chat with me my new AOL screenname (temperarily) is EricTcrow7 yeah yeah i know very creative huh. so yeah i guess that bout it for the moment. Love to all of you and for those that are going through some hard shit (you know who you are) stop take a deep breath and realize things will get better one way or another.

Meow
mood: exhaustedexhausted
music: the music in my head don't remember the title to this one.
 
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(no subject)  
02:06am 25/08/2005
 
 
dream_shaper

Digital Robotic Exploration and Assassination Machine



Synthetic Handcrafted Android Programmed for Efficient Repair



Cybernetic Artificial Technician
 
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BAD fuckin day  
11:25pm 23/08/2005
 
 
dream_shaper
so let me begin this story where i should ... the begining sun. night/mon. morning i leave game at 1am to begin my drive up the mountain for and hour and half knowing that i have to wake up at 5-6 in the AM i get my happy half asleep ass up the mountain as fast as i can. i make record time turning a normally hour and a half to hour 45 drive into a 1 hour drive rock on more sleep for me. feeling a little bit sickish but attribute that to smoking to damn much. try to get to sleep on a leather fuckin couch. now for those that have never slept on a leather couch imagine sleeping on skwishy concreat. it hold the cold right there under you so instead of the blanket keeping you warm it keeps you slightly warmer than room temp. in other words sleep is hard, on top of that theres the damn clock. Those that don't know me to this level, let me splain, the ticking of a clock annoies the hell out of me because it makes my mind pay attention to it. Now if i have to deal i can make it a rythem and slowly drown it out, but no such luck here this one does keep a nice steady tick so ... grrr. i barely sleep but whatever i've worked on less sleep also hopeing that i can get someone else to drive so i might catch a nap on the way up (the 2 hours it takes to get to aspen from where i was) no such fuckin luck. wake up at 6 and we are already going to be late so we try to rush out the fuckin door no un occupied batrooms so i gotta pee and i can't. blah blah rush rush out the door to drive for two hours, alone. no prob i got my mp3 disks and charged batteries time to zone to the tunes and head out. on the road spend $20 to fill the tank and we are gone. on the road finally settle in a bit and hit play i get through ONE song and the batteries die. grr ok fine radio. now for those that don't know the radio stations up there SUCK ASS. your choices are... country (eh but no.) folk (err) or crappy talk radio. crappy errrrrr. driven driven driven ok dead fuckin stop not even 15 minutes from our destination. and we SIT for 45 fuckin min. in this time i try every set of batteries every combination of batteries trying to get anything more than crapp goddamn mountain music. NOPE i got 30 sec. of one song for all my efforts. we get there we take lunch because it is already 11 and we were suposed to be there at 8 ... yeah. so we go to the job boss man that hired us now showing another guy around. i don't think much of it since they are suposed to have 20 tile setters on this damn job(yes that big) but when he shows him the room that was going to be next on our list i get a BAD feeling. so after a bit he walks on over and asks if donnie is lenn.(for the very few that don't know i work with him a lot good friend and x brother in law) when he says no the head goes down and i see that dreaded "i have bad news but i don't want to be the one to break it" face. then the stomach drops and i think it's time to smoke. so lenn walks in they talk me and donnie go outside and smoke. long and the short of it... no we didn't get canned but no it was VERY bad these mother fuckers are so damned picky we would probably end up paying them. so we deside to leave the damn job. just about as bad as getting canned. we pack up and after standing there for 3 hours we turn around to leave for the 2 hours back down. crap shouldn't have spent the money i already did. by this time i'm feeling FUCKING sick. i'm talking seriously sick deliriously sick and the lack of sleep doesn't help at all. we have a "meeting" to deside where we are going and what the hell we are doing. think it's all figered out i go to head home hopefully before i end up to fuckin delirious to drive anymore. even at this point i've been in the damn car for 7 hours. i start down the damn mountain with half a tank of gas and tunes. thinking things suckass but at least i get to sleep at home tonight. cruising and then i see the sign for golden (where i turn to come to boulder) cool i didn't miss it this fuckin time. i get off and poof enter fuckin two lane mountain road ok whatever as long as i get where i need to be. so i'm going and going twisty turny which is rather interesting when things look like they did. not seing any signs and shit i should already be in fuckin golden by now... next thing i know poof i'm in blackhawk. long long long annoing story short and sweet fuckin tailgating asshole mountain folk annoying stupid ass fuckin tourists from texas that take the ENTIRE road at 15-25 mph NO GODAMN SIGNS to let you know if your even still on the same road your were on if you even know the name of that street your on deleriously ill RAIN (nice actually) and not being able to see barly anything between the breaklight the rain and the SUV lights and feeling rather hopeless as i watch the gas gauge dwindle slowly down and realize if i don't make it somewhere before it hits empty i'm sleeping in the damn car till morning at least since I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE FUCK I AM. so all of that SUCKED FUCKIN ASS and i finall roll into boulder two and a half hours after i left to make a total of ... 9 and a half hours in the car for a trip to not get paid get no sleep and feel like crap by the time i get home. .... yeah bad day.
mood: sicksick
 
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Life is fuckin annoying sometimes  
11:15pm 23/08/2005
 
 
dream_shaper
so i won't rant to much... yet. Just fill you people in on where i dissapeared to if you don't already know. last wed. went to court for my brakes failing to work one night and blah de blah short and sweet of it is $500 if i don't come back with insurance tomarrow at 8:30 so yes that is taken care of and we shall see what happens. I got home to a message of "we got work pack your shit you need to be up here (brekenridge) tonight to work in the morning in aspen. so i start loosing my mind and poof i'm packing and try to get insurance for the next few hours. remember this is my typical warning if it's not leaving within 24 hours it usually doesn't happen. so up i went and spent last thur-sat working on a grand hiat up in aspen laying tile that to say the least was a BITCH. and came back down sat night for my sun. off and then back up sun. night which at least half the people that read this already know. then began one of the worst days i've had in a long time. but thats another post so it shall wait for now... that where i've been.
mood: sicksick
 
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as promised...  
08:06pm 12/08/2005
 
 
dream_shaper
First lets start with some warning... i'm lazy so i've ust thrown up the links to the pics view at your leasure.

And some how whit has managed to avoid everytime i bring the camera.

Pics from a few games.
All hail the God of hell fire. and game.
Poof like a dear in the headlights.
And the lovely player of the D girl.
Kippy avoiding me and A not.
Whisper Whisper Whisper
GOD and a sleve
GOD Smiting some cig butt.
IT'S A RND LOOK OUT.
WOW i look funny... and need to shave.
Malks gotta love 'em.
Kippy and a road cone.
Knew it all along god was on the phone the whole time.
Watch out Rnd is thinking. we are all screwed.
Caffine, Booze, and hot man chowder :).
Making of a kitty distraction.
WAKE UP!!
Which one is the evil one?
Alyse, Rand, and Adam Oh my
AWWWWWW
Personally LOVE this one.
KIPPAGE!!!!
RANDAGE!?!?
looking for some tail? what wrong kind?
Either a bouncy god or we are about to be screwed.
Ready yet?
I can see up your nose.
Last but not least RANDish about to smoke. dududu
Tune in next week for ...uhh something.

And for all of you lovely people i have a bit of a treat ... well thats for you to deside but here it is, a "world" debute of a Kitty CaT original sounds coming at you through the help of a little bit of imagination and these wires that criss cross our land just for you and your loved ones the sounds of a strange generation. The first ever release of (chosen at random) The CaT coming at ya with the sounds of Tandom a not so new musical work of yours truely the kitty CaT now download it HERE!! and hear the music that spills out of my brain on occasion. tell me what you think and just remember it's not exactly polished up so... maybe i'll start making this a weekly event releaseing some bits of the music i have created for your listening pleasures.
mood: bouncybouncy
music: The CaT -This is the Way
 
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stolen from My sis' because it could get interesting.  
07:31pm 12/08/2005
 
 
dream_shaper
So it sounds like it could be very interesting or it could drive me nuts but either way lets have some fun and see what you people really think... plus a few kitty ideas added in

Answer the following questions in an anonymous comment. (everyone pleeeassee)

1)Why are we friends? (Not any specific because this happened our freshman year and such, more or less what do we have in common, what do I do for you or do you do for me that makes us friends?)

2) How long have we known eachother?

3) What was your first impression of me? and looking back how did it change?

4) Tell me what you really think about me. I mean talk about me the way you talk about me when I'm not around. Be completely honset. What do you really think of me?

5) Tell me something you absolutely hate and cannot stand about me.

6) Tell me one thing that you love me for.

7) Tell me one physical thing you think is beautiful about me.

8) In 5 words describe me.

9) Knowing what you know of me what do you think i should change about myself or my life?

10) Ask me three questions, no matter how personal or rude I have to answer them.(As soon as you've seen my reply, comment so I can screen the answers if I so choose. Don't forget to check back since you won't be getting an e-mail saying I've replied to your comment.)

I warned you i may be posting a bit with to much time on my hands just took a while to get around to it so now i have to make up for it.
mood: peacefulpeaceful
music: The CaT - Finest Hour.
 
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GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ebay...  
04:50pm 12/08/2005
 
 
dream_shaper
So i just got through with a ranting email bitching up a storm to ebay because they had the nerve to send me a "suspension notice due to unauthorized access" which is pretty damn amazing if someone got into my account considering it's been suspended for over a year now and i haven't been able to get the dick heads to admit i am me. so if i didn't respond to this email by updating my account within 24 hours they would terminate the account. well you know i can't particularly change account info when I CAN'T ACCESS it. so i figured what the hell do i have to loose and let loose on some poor unsuspecting ebay help service person. anyway on with it right. some of you will be happy to note i will be posting a lot of the pics i have taken at game for your viewing pleasure hopefully be up by later this afternoon if all is well in the bored of his ass alone CaT land.
 
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Cause I have to... it's written.  
04:49pm 12/08/2005
 
 
dream_shaper
1. Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie/book/fictional character reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a substance to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me. Or at least me.
5. I'll tell you my favorite memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal or plant you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.
mood: amusedamused
music: ME!!! no no not in my head on winamp buhaha
 
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Meet Leo  
03:50am 04/08/2005
 
 
dream_shaper
Thanks to an interesting conversation that RND and I had (as well as X a lorren) i found myself a new toy. Thank you very much RND for mentioning it... though it is incredibly complex. so through MUCH trial and error and lots and lots of playing with it ... Meet Leo






These are just come playing around with the thing but i figured he was interesting enough to post up and see what people think of him so let me know.
mood: geekygeeky
 
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curse you people  
12:05am 04/08/2005
 
 
dream_shaper

You Are A Vampire
Take the World of Darkness Quiz
by David J Rust



You scored as Demon. Demon: Darkness is your sanctuary. Demons are many and are all different in appearence and rank. The most common are the ones that feed off of human souls. They love to make someone fall into their inner darkness. Blood, wrath, murder... You name it they love it. These beings don't care who you are, if they set their sights on you, let's just hope you know a good excorist. They kill any love within you and pull you toward their side. By any means possible. You wish for chaos and hate, you are the Demon.

</td>

Demon

92%

Angel

75%

Mermaid

75%

Faerie

67%

Dragon

58%

WereWolf

50%

What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!)
created with QuizFarm.com
 
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the words are sand slipping through the fingers  
12:53am 19/07/2005
 
 
dream_shaper
so many a time i sit here wondering if i should post something. I am not one of those people that will telly ou every moment in my life because frankly i prefer to talk about a lot of that in person or chatting. For all of those wondering whats been going on... to be prefectly honest it's not the greatest month for my head to start with Mia's birthday and it will be another year i will not be able to see her. Work dried up at one of the worst times, second car is gone back to it's owner in alaska now, water heater is still busted, etc. etc. etc. Iko the little shit head kitten that i honestly loved a lot is still MIA. and life just keeps up with it's stupid little jabs nothing big nothing life shattering just stupid thoughts or misinterperated words from people, or sitting here wishing a few things would just fucking change already. other than my bitching and moaning about all of this. what i've been up too....
Went fliering handing out round 1800 ish fliers searching for work. (with help from carry and rnd of course)
had a bit of a ... issue with Donnie, who knows..
built a new box for Aja (K's other niece) Nautalus that i will be posting pics of soon.
played some... a lot of dawn of war with RND
realizing i have a LOT of music.
and generally thinking way to much and making my life worse than it needs to be.

well i supose i will make that it for the moment. my head kinda hurts and i'm going to try and do something productive.
mood: melancholymelancholy
 
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yet another fortunate side effect.  
10:17am 07/07/2005
 
 
dream_shaper
thats right i have found another interesting side effect to the syndrome and way of life i have named the genius syndrom. it seems that even incredible pain can be numbed out to the point of a dull ache, If the brain is given something to focus on intently. Yes for the past two days CaT has been struggling with a massive annoying as fuck and incredibly painful tooth infection. this morning i woke to unbearable pain and die what i could to numb it. with nothing working i resigned to it and desided to attempt smoking, in the past this method has worked as clove is a mild anestetic, therefor the clove smoke is an even milder one but it lowers the blood presure has a slight numbing effect and... hey it worked for me ok... so while sitting there trying my hardest to ignore the pain and suck down the clove i looked down at the case i have been working on. i started working... i managed to work strait through the pain and it slowly faded to an ache granted some of this i'm sure can be blamed on the pain killers but they don't work that damn fast (unfortunatly) so i managed to bridge the gap between the " just fuckin hit me with the hammer that would hurt less and then i'd be unconcious" to the "aw blessed drugs i think i'lll .... .... sl...eep....n...." not that i am asleep of course the the point has been made. I shall no return you to your daily programing.
mood: crappycrappy
 
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things don't always go as planned  
01:33am 10/06/2005
 
 
dream_shaper
so i know it's been some time since i posted but life has been busy and oday has been a full day of unexpected changes.
so lets begin when i woke up. i find a voice message about work, simple enough, telling me that my 2 weeks off has been cut in half as i will be driving out to geniva New York either sat. or mon. for 2 days of work that will pay me a grand and then making a kamakazi run back home before my sons birthday (btw if you don't know there is a party on sat. the 18th ) so yeah there the start.

Next we go through the day a little dazed but otherwise most things work out. i go out and start working on the damn shed trying to get it done in the now limited time i have before i leave. Then the rain comes in at first no problem i can work through a little rain... the a little becomes soaked and a bit chilly so i deside screw it and go inside.

oh yeah gotta get smokes, no prob eads is open till 9 i think... well they are open till 9:45 according to the door but the lights were off and the door was locked. ok cruise to smoker friendly... yeah right already closed. fine we go to boulder gas as they sell cloves... turn around in the old millinium parking lot (insert nestalgia here) screw it lolitas. got the smokes good to go.

on the drive home i think about millinium and deside hey i'm ganna go out. so i change and head to denver with my freashly printed directions. make a call to a friend to see if they are goings... nope. make another call to another friend see if they wanna go even offer to pick em up ... nope. fine fine off to club alone.... CAN'T FIND THE DAMN PLACE. and no patience for more looking i head back to boulder.

I deside i want a change of scenery for a smoke so i stop by pearl hopeing to at least see some interesting people maybe have someone to smoke with. not happening lots of drunk collage students shying away from my path. ok ok head home.

Oh yeah there is that mini fridge in the dumpster it would go well in my new work bench just the riht size and everything so a tad bit intoxicated. (don't worry just enough to loosen the muscles not enough to impare judgment ... much.. you'll see) so i park the car and head over in my 20 eye docs, slacks, fishnet shirt, silk shirt, and trench and start up trying to get this damn thing unwedged say hi to the nice little coon we named jimmy and start yanking on the damn thing. half way through i hear something drop and hit the bottom of the dumpster and look down just in time to see my cig case with about $20 following the brand new pack of cloves through the tiny crack between the fridge and the side of the dumpster... ARG>>> so i walk back to the house to smoke a bit and talk with the erika that is standing there and change into a t shirt and my other leather and head back out. Now the damn fridge HAS to be moved to retreave my crap. so after much much much wiggleing and wanking the damn thing comes loose and i heft it out and get my cig case and pack of cloves that is now slightly damp but not to bad. so the moral of this story is... things don't always go as planned but sometimes just sometimes you end up with a mini fridge instead.
mood: amusedamused
 
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a forgot sentiment  
12:22am 11/05/2005
 
 
dream_shaper
have you ever had the feeling that you have become a fading memory. like that old shirt you just can't get rid of because you know that at one point it ment something, but you can't seem to remember why. So you toss it back in the drawer maybe in the closet and every once in a while find it again toss it around a little then find another place to put it and forget about it.

On a diffrent note i got a lot of odds and ends sorta handled like fixing the damn screen door and the drain in the batroom sink. then i desided to mess with the ice queens Power supply because the little grey box was annoying me. so of course when i get bored i take things apart and make them better in some way maybe i'll show it off when it's all done. i'm off to read and smoke since thats about all thats left for me tonight ... *sigh* who knows maybe i'll get lucky fall asleep fast enuogh to forget these thoughts... sleep well all of you and may flights of angels carry you to the sweetest of dreams.
mood: gloomygloomy
 
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The CaT came back...  
11:16pm 09/05/2005
 
 
dream_shaper
so it's amazing what a trip to make some money can do for your out look on your siuations back home. something didn't change a bit as if i had never left... others seemed to have wizzed by and left me a month behind. today i looked around sitting here in my one fish two fish Dr. suess pants and felt at a loss suddenly i had no clue what i was doing or what i could be doing and suddenly felt incredibly useless and pointless. Some times the world should just go accroding to the plan in my head maybe then i would be a little more stable at those moments instead of retreating to my bed because it's the easiest thing. If all goes well i will be takeing a computer on the road with me next time i pull out of town so that i may stay a little more connected and feel at least a bit more comfortable sitting in a hotel room. for the few that may not know i just spent the last 5 weeks in gainsville TX. aka an outer ring of hell. Hot, muggy not a damn thing to do other than drink and listen to the already drunk yelled back and forth outside. so for the magority of my time there i saw 3 things the hotel i was working on, the hotel i was sleeping in, and the super walmart. I was doing the carpet and tile in the place but as much as that all sucked ass let me put it this way my last check for 7 days of work came out to 1,800.00 and thats not to count the paycheck before that so yes it sucked but at least i can say i'm not broke right now. Coming home was a good thing and was great to actually get to see people and hang out with people but i have to say a few things didn't go as well as i was hopeing for. i'm contemplating just going and sitting out in the middle of no where or a dinner or something and smokeing one of these nights. Oh and get this i spend a year putting in fuckin apps everywhere desperate for anything that can put some money in the bank... anything... i get this job... 4 of the people i turned in apps to called back in 2 weeks. here i am thinking to myself i would have to take all four of those jobs to get the money i am already getting and therefor it wouldn't be much better than being out of town anyway. maybe i'll use my journal more when i'm on the road since i won't have much else to do. well i'm ganna go get a smoke and probably go to bed. i hope you are all well and staying somewhat sane in our insanity. Lil' sis i miss ya and just remember you've always got people that except you and love you for what you are just got to look in the right directions. god of hell fire good game it was fun and i hope your feeling better. kippers i do think you are doing a lot better you have grown from what you were but still hold yourself in there. RND seems like you've got a plan and i think if you stick to it, it could turn out very well for you in the end. to the orchid in the corner i must say you play one hell of a malk. sweet irony in life, strange how things change but somehow the world has a way of reminding people of promises not yet kept.
mood: discontentdiscontent
 
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job option  
12:44pm 31/03/2005
 
 
dream_shaper
so i get a phone call yesterday... a business opertunatity, a pretty damn good proprosal. Possibility to make over a grand a week doing something i have a shit load of experience doing... construction, hotels. i walk in, do what i do and go home. theres a catch... it involves travel, not that i wouldn't be home, but i could be out of town for a month at a time if not slightly more. granted 5 weeks of this job would pay my rent for a year... theres a lot about it that makes me wary but frankly it's probably one of the best things i could get for work right now. the first contract is 4 months in denver past that it could be anywhere in the US. now if i was out of town realistically i would probably be working long days just because what else would i be doing, sleeping? if all worked out i would be able to set myself up a road computer to take with me and be able to keep up communications that way, as well as a cell that would be free after 7. If you couldn't tell i'm not entirly sure about this, but frankly even if i pulled it off for only a year i could set up a nice little nest egg to branch off into something i could do here. Now heres another thing with it it would virtually take me out of the local scene and silentparty would have to be handled on the road as well as finding a few people to keep things running here. if you read my last post you know what i would have to have help with. Although after a year the plan would be to start building spec homes here in CO. and i would most likely become the Super for those running probably two at a time and building the damn things from the ground up. I hate out of town work but for a fuckin grand a week i could bust ass work myself at twice the speed and make myself time off to get a roundtrip and fly my ass back here for a week. There are some physical limitations that are going to be a bitch as far as this goes... my joints won't be able to handle this shit for long, so i would have to set up a back up plan here in colorado. The idea of leaveing behind my family and friends for that long at a time would be hell on me to be honest but again for a grand a week opposed to what i could make here in a retal outlet store i think it would be a very good thing. ok ok i'm done talking about this until i straiten a few things out in my head. but the reason i put this up on LJ is to see what my friends think of this. offer me up some thoughts on it.
mood: nervousnervous
music: Cyber Axis - The way i feel
 
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Street Teams  
12:53am 29/03/2005
 
 
dream_shaper
Well since i can't seem to get anyone to sit down and talk to me about this in person here we go.

Me RND and another (half of your already know those that don't frankly don't worry about it) have started Silent Party. This is planned to be a large movement towards encouraging, educating, and banding together Gen X-Y voters. The last presidential election only rounded up about 24% of those in the age group of 18-35. This is flat out unacceptable. Our future is being stolen away from us EVERY DAY and most of us don't even care to think about it, let alone take a stand and make some kind of difference. Social Security? by the time we can use it, it WILL be gone... hope we all want to die young because the government will not be there for us in our old age.

You want to know more?? Go check it out... www.SilentParty.Org

Now the point of this post it to flat out invite all of you to help us out and make some money at the same time.
We need street teams... we need people to stand out there and collect donations for us, not that we won't be out there too. We don't ask that you do this out of the kindness of your heart or your love for us or even believing in what we are doing. We will split a percentage of the money your bring in with you. so you spend an hour out there and pull in $100 you get paid a percentage of that up front as soon as you come to us. There are also a lot of other bonuses to be had through this such as, if you bring in a group of people you get a cut of what they bring in (no this is not a pyramid scheme, yes it is legal). Flat out we need people and if we end up with a lot of people we will need to deal with a smaller percentage of the total hence why you make a little more off running one of these street teams as a leader. Pull in enough through your charm or through your people either way and we have some other stuff to offer as well but I won't get into that, yet.

You talk to us. We set you up with your very own donations can and a stack of fliers (if we decided to use them) and give you a list of locations. If you decide you want to work that day even if only an hour let us know and we will let you know if there is anyone else out and where they are, don't want 5 people at the same local. you head on over there may i suggest rush times such as 4:30-7 PM or lunch time. when your all done for the day you head over to one of us (or meet us somewhere) and we count it up and divvy it up, boom your paid right then and there. That easy. You help us out, help the cause out, and make some extra cash on top of it all. All you have to do is stand somewhere and ask people for donations.

So if your interested let me know ASAP we need people NOW. You want more info most if not all of you know how to get a hold of me.

Interested but don't think you have the time to do it? Mention the job to all those you think might even consider it... help us out and help yourself out at the same time. help us build a community and make a difference.

That's all from the (in need) CaT for the moment.
mood: anxiousanxious
 
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